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Conflict Resolution Among Couples


Conflict resolution among couples Kaizen Wellbeing Kaizenwb Online therapy in Dubai indian couples therapist

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Every person in this world is unique and different from the other. What one person likes or dislikes will frequently be different from another person’s likes and dislikes. This could result in clashes and disagreements among people. In a relationship where two people spend a lot of time together, the chances of a conflict occurring are pretty high. And this is normal because there are times when an individual wants to do what they do without thinking about another person, like maybe just getting Chinese for dinner when their significant other would have wanted to get Italian. Even though deciding what to have for dinner is an important decision, sometimes disagreements among couples can occur over more significant reasons like career or even upbringing of their children.

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Conflicts in any kind of relationship are a significant source of stress, and ignoring a conflict can only result in resentment and more conflict in the future. Some believe that addressing a conflict could result in more conflicts resulting in a domino effect. But on the flip side, a disagreement or conflict can also open up chances to better understand your partner and deepen the relationship between you two if the conflict is dealt with constructively. Research has also given evidence supporting the importance of conflict resolution training in reducing marital conflicts. Now that you are aware of the importance of healthy conflict resolution, here are some ways that you can achieve that in your relationship.

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Know your feelings:

Conflicts can be very stressful and come with a host of other emotions and feelings. Sometimes they can be difficult to deal with and may cloud your judgement. Thee are times when you may not understand why you are feeling the way you do or why your partner is obviously doing the wrong thing. It is always important to really know your feelings before you can work on them. Talking to another person that you are comfortable with can help in uncovering the true nature of your emotions. Another way to get in touch with your feelings is through journaling.

Including psychotherapists who specialize in depression treatment, anxiety therapy, and relationship therapy, so you can find the best therapist in Dubai to suit your needs.

Communicate:

For any conflict to be resolved in a satisfactory way for all those involved, communication is key. It is only when you tell your partner about your feelings and thoughts can they start to understand your perspective. In the midst of an argument it may not always be easy to talk to another person in a calm and rational manner and sometimes you could even end up saying the wrong thing. A way in which you could ensure that you are communicating properly would be to pick a time to talk to your partner when both of you are calm and ready to talk about your problems. You could even write down your problems, needs and expectations before beginning the talk.

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Don’t bring in more negative emotions:

It is very hard to stick to your normal standard of behaviour when the other person makes it very difficult for you and fills you with frustration. Remember, conflicts always come with their own negative experiences and adding to them can defeat the whole purpose of conflict resolution. Try to rein in contemptuous and sarcastic remarks, however hard it might be. These remarks can only increase defensiveness and resentment. So, hit the gym and work away all your frustration and then talk to your partner with a clear mind. If you feel like things are not going well at all, then take a break from your discussions or seek professional help.

You can find an anxiety specialist or depression counsellor who can help you overcome your mental health challenges.

Remember to listen:

Often, a person is so frustrated and angry that they keep vocalizing their feelings and forget about the other person in the relationship. It is only when you sit down and listen to your partner can you understand their perspective. Usually, when a person feels like they are being genuinely listened to, they become more ready to work things out and bridge the gap between you two.


Some of the psychotherapeutic methods of conflict resolution are listed below:


Gottman method:

Research has shown that the Gottman method of conflict resolution has resulted in significant increase in intimacy and relationship quality among couples. Gottman and Gottman listed 4 destructive behaviours which worsen conflicts, namely: Criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. They also said that as conflict goes on, negativity can escalate between couples which could be tackled by sharing five positive things for every negative remark can significantly reduce chances of divorce or separation. This method also focuses on identifying the triggers and areas of disagreements, discovering shared values and relationship histories.


Emotion focused approach:

As was discussed before, conflicts come with a host of emotions and feelings. It was found that these emotions could be used for conflict resolution. Psychologists using this approach usually have each partner share specific, problematic events in the relationship, and then work with them to identify, explore, and make sense of the underlying emotions that are contributing to those situations. The idea behind this approach is to access deeper emotions to understand the unmet needs of a person which are contributing in some way to the conflict.


Imago relationship therapy:

There are instances where the experiences of childhood can adversely affect the later relationships of an individual. Each individual has had different childhood experiences which could have resulted in them forming a certain idea on how a relationship should proceed. Imago relationship therapy helps to bring these images to the forefront of the mind so that one can identify negative thoughts, feelings and behaviours and their impact on their partner.


Narrative therapy:

Language and communication plays a very important role in our thinking and behavior process. The narrative between you and your partner can influence your decisions and behaviour. This therapy helps in identifying self-defeating and negative narratives that may be sabotaging your relationship. It also helps in the creation of a healthier narrative that can foster intimacy and understanding between you and your partner.


At the end of the day, the two important things that can help you with conflict resolution is a readiness to work on your relationship and the ability to feel empathy for your partner. Trying to understand your partner and yourself better and taking collaborative decisions can go a long way in building a better relationship. You don't always have to figure it out yourself, we have trained professionals in Couples Therapy that can help you and your partner through this process better and more effectively.


Kaizen Wellbeing is an online therapy platform in Dubai, UAE that caters to South Asian community. There is a dearth of good therapy establishments that accommodate the mental health needs of the brown community. We aim to bridge that gap by providing you quality and affordable care by qualified and warm therapists. Reach out at hello@kaizenwb.com or +971 50 961 8796 and book your first session towards understanding yourself and other’s better.


If you have any queries please put them down in the comments section and we will try our best to answer them and help you out.

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