Any and every relationship in a person's life has boundaries. It is always important to establish boundaries and communicate them while you're in a relationship, regardless of the nature of the relationship. Boundaries are important in every facet of life. Thus, it is also important to set boundaries in financial aspects as well. Setting boundaries with regard to finances can help reduce misunderstandings and could potentially make our lives happier and healthier.
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Some cultures require children to provide everyday expenses for their parents, while others don’t. If there are any expectations regarding financial or money aspects, it is important to have a conversation about it and come to a common understanding. Remember that money can break a relationship and hence when borrowing or lending money, it is important to consider all the pros and cons.
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Sometimes in life, our peers and friends may come to us asking for money for some or other need that they may have. Even if you are not in a position to lend some money to the person, it may be difficult for you to actually say no. However, in such instances, saying no becomes all the more necessary. We often feel obligated to help our friends and feel guilty saying no, even when our situation does not allow us to help the way we desire. If you find it extremely hard to say no, you can try talking to them about your situation and telling them that you can't lend them money now but can help them find some other source (if you can do that). If you feel extremely guilty about not being able to help, offering some other form of help can also suffice.
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When we are in an intimate relationship with a partner, we are bound to have conversations about money. In any committed relationship, conversations about money will crop up at some point in time. It becomes especially important when you get into a committed relationship, especially in the cases of marriages where there is some form of legality involved. Before you get married, it is important to have a conversation about how to deal with joint expenses and how to manage money. Moreover, if you decide to combine your accounts and have a single joint account, there needs to be a high level of accountability when it comes to managing money as well as an open channel of communication and consensus with regard to what you spend your money on.
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In cases where the person who asked you for money is actually struggling with their livelihood, one option is to buy them groceries and help them by bringing them home-cooked meals, etcetera. You can also assist them in finding work and providing support until they are back on their feet, or you can offer to pay for a class that could potentially help them develop the skills needed to land a job.
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If you give people money, you should arrive at a consensus on whether you require the money back and, if so, by when they would be able to pay it back. Also, when lending money, it is important to note the dates and the amount of money that you lend to people.
Ultimately, as it is with most things that matter, money also boils down to communication. You are not in a position to actually help someone or you do not want to help someone. As much as it is difficult to say no, it is important to let them know as clearly as possible without being harsh. Always prioritise your own goals when it comes to finances. Set some ground rules for yourself when it comes to lending money to loved ones. Setting such ground rules for yourself could help when you face these situations. Even if it is as simple as your friend choosing a more expensive restaurant that you are not comfortable with, it is important to set the boundary and let them know that you're comfortable with the choice and ask them politely to opt for a more affordable place.
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From the time you become financially independent, and sometimes before then, prepare yourselves to have tough conversations. Be ready to stand up for yourself and be assertive. Apart from this, there are various conversations a couple must talk about before entering marriage, find that here to make it a little easier for you to have difficult conversations.
If it is the other way around, and you are borrowing money from your loved one, then let them know when they can expect their money back and be sure to stick to the date. If by any chance you're not able to stick to the day that you mentioned to them, let them know beforehand.
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Any and every conversation about money can be uncomfortable and difficult. However, that does not make it any less important to have. Regardless of the kind of relationship you have with this person, it is important to set some form of financial boundary. We require money to live. Thus, it is not something that we can give away that easily. If you require an objective perspective on setting financial boundaries or assistance with how to be more financially responsible reach out to our team of qualified psychologists in Dubai, ready to give you tailored client-centric support to help you navigate through this rough spot with the best online therapy in Dubai at Kaizen Wellbeing.
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Kaizen Wellbeing is the best online therapy platform in Dubai, UAE that caters to the South Asian community. There is a dearth of good therapy establishments that accommodate the mental health needs of the brown community. We aim to bridge that gap by providing you with quality and affordable care with qualified and warm therapists. Reach out at hello@kaizenwb.com or +971 50 961 8796 and book your first session towards understanding yourself and others better.
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