In the world of dating, it becomes extremely difficult to discern who the best person for you would be. You might find yourself dating all kinds of people. Among them, you may encounter individuals who are unavailable as well.
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Who are unavailable people? We’ve all encountered people like this or have heard stories of someone who pursued an unavailable individual, only to get disappointed. Unavailable individuals are those people who are not quite ready for a commitment. The problems with relationships with such people is that you give your all for the relationship and try hard to make it work, but nothing seems to work, and you feel like you’re talking to a wall. During the initial period of the relationship, everything may seem good, perfect even. But, as time passes, and the closer you try to get, the other person may pull away or erect walls to keep you away. At times, we may feel like we are going through the same relationship each time, but with different people. Each time we get into a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person and we put effort into the relationship without getting much in return, we become increasingly exhausted and feel unhopeful, ultimately losing faith in current and future relationships.
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Unfortunately, in today’s world, some individuals are prone to pursue such relationships and go for unavailable individuals. This may be due to profound insecurities and self esteem issues. Sometimes it may be due to our need to ‘heal’ the other person, or that we feel the need to give them time and hope for them to change despite various instances and clues suggesting otherwise.
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Here are some ways through which you can detect whether you are in a relationship with an unavailable person, and stop pursuing emotionally unavailable people.
Keep an eye out for the signs: When you’re in a relationship, there may be a tendency to ignore and forget signs that indicate the opposite of what we want from the relationship or that forces us to think about the possibility of incompatibility. These may be the signs that we look back to and think “Why did I not take it seriously then?” after the breaking of the relationship.
Identify the nature of the relationship: After some time of dating, it is natural for partners to define the nature of the relationship. Insist on this. If you feel like your partner is avoiding or withdrawing from such conversation, then it makes it all the more important to have a discussion about the future and where the relationship is headed, and ultimately come to an understanding.
If you feel like you're going through the same kind of relationship over and over again, self reflect: Sometimes, you may get the feeling that you are repeating the same relationship again and again with different people, then the problem might be within you. You may be seeking the same kind of relationship por partners. In such cases, it would be best to understand yourself and your patterns of behaviour to stop it from happening again.
Break the relationship if you feel like it’s not going anywhere: At times, you may actually like the person a lot, but feel like you are at a standstill in the relationship and there is a lack of progress despite attempts and effort. If you have tried everything and still there is no change, it would be best to break the relationship.
Understand and reflect on your ideas and standards of what a relationship is: Revisiting and redefining your notions about the best kind of partner for you, your ideal relationship and what you want your future as a partner in a relationship to look like may give insights as to why you keep pursuing emotionally unavailable people.
Heal: Sometimes, our inclination towards pursuing individuals who are unavailable may stem from our childhood experiences or problems in our attachment patterns. In such cases, the solution is to heal ourselves before diving back into the dating game.
Saving them from themselves: At times, we might end up trying to be the saviour of our partners and want to be the one who heals their wounds. It may feel good to heal someone and help them, however, think about whether this is taking too much of a toll on you. In healthy relationships, both partners help heal each other. But in unhealthy relationships, this becomes one-sided, and thus exhausting for one of the partners.
Are you really in a relationship?: Before starting to date, it is important to ask yourself if you are really ready for a relationship and check for how emotionally available you are. therapy session dubai affordable and cheap counseling
When you are in a relationship, it becomes important to trust your gut, and make sure that the relationship is doing you good. If you are making too many excuses for your partner, not only to others, but to yourself too, then it is time to rethink the relationship and decide whether you are benefitting from the relationship, or if it is taking too much from you without giving much back. If you notice a consistent and pervasive pattern in the people you choose to date, the relationships you decide to get in, and it consistently being with emotionally unavailable people, therapy in Dubai can help. Therapy with Kaizen Wellbeing can help. Online therapy in Dubai enables you to bring self awareness to the pattern and equip you with tools and techniques to make sure you don’t continue a malicious pattern that no longer benefits you. Your therapist in Dubai or Psychologist in Dubai at Kaizen Wellbeing can help you build meaningful relationships with yourself and your future partners.
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Kaizen Wellbeing is an online therapy platform in Dubai, UAE that caters to South Asian community. There is a dearth of good therapy establishments that accommodate the mental health needs of the brown community. We aim to bridge that gap by providing you quality and affordable care by qualified and warm therapists. Reach out at hello@kaizenwb.com or +971 50 961 8796 and book your first session towards understanding yourself and other’s better.
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